I'm Gideon (+ other names)
30/he/2spirit lesbian/indigenous/Anti-civ
I love film and most of my favourite films are from the 70s.
my favourite movies
I also love to read and some of my favourite authors are: Clive Barker, Samuel Delany, Octavia Butler
my storygraph
If you like Berserk rec list
Sticky:I love Berserk, it's admittedly one of my favourite manga. If you're looking for something that scratches that itch but you're unsure where to look, let me suggest a curated list (that is ever evolving) of media:
1. Phantom of the Paradise (1974) dir. Brian de Palma
2. Tales of Nevèrÿon (1978) written by Samuel R. Delany
3. Dragon's Dogma (2012) video game by Capcom
4. Hellraiser (1987) dir. Clive Barker + the Epic comic run (1989-1993)
5. Fear and Hunger (2018) video game by Miro Haverinen
6. Blame! (1997) manga by Tsutomu Nihei
7. Ringing Bell (1978) dir. Masami Hata / Sanrio Films
1. Phantom of the Paradise (1974) dir. Brian de Palma
2. Tales of Nevèrÿon (1978) written by Samuel R. Delany
3. Dragon's Dogma (2012) video game by Capcom
4. Hellraiser (1987) dir. Clive Barker + the Epic comic run (1989-1993)
5. Fear and Hunger (2018) video game by Miro Haverinen
6. Blame! (1997) manga by Tsutomu Nihei
7. Ringing Bell (1978) dir. Masami Hata / Sanrio Films
Entry tags:
03/18/25
Today I had a job interview in a really busy outdoor mall part of town. I wore these really nice dress shoes that clack clack clacked so that gave me a lot of confidence.
I think the interview went well, but I've been ghosted by a lot of employers in that area, so not holding my breath.
I've been having a great time. been going outside more lately.
Ordered some xbox 360 games for a late birthday present for myself (they were really cheap) and I also got Ocarina prima guide (i used to have it as a kid, but i no longer do, and that game is dear to me).
I painted every other tile black in my bathroom and decided to leave the other tiles the offwhite colour since that matches the countertops.
I think the interview went well, but I've been ghosted by a lot of employers in that area, so not holding my breath.
I've been having a great time. been going outside more lately.
Ordered some xbox 360 games for a late birthday present for myself (they were really cheap) and I also got Ocarina prima guide (i used to have it as a kid, but i no longer do, and that game is dear to me).
I painted every other tile black in my bathroom and decided to leave the other tiles the offwhite colour since that matches the countertops.
Entry tags:
Fear and Hunger + Termina Media rec list (will update as I think of things)
Majora's Mask (2000) Video game
The Seventh Seal (1957)
Berserk
Hellraiser (1987)
Noroi The Curse (2005)
Spirited Away (2001)
Mad God (2021)
Fear City (1984)
Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Ring (1998)
Coraline (2009)
Torchbearer (2005)
Silent Hill video games
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
The Hourglass Sanitarium (1973)
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)
Saw (2004)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
The Seventh Seal (1957)
Berserk
Hellraiser (1987)
Noroi The Curse (2005)
Spirited Away (2001)
Mad God (2021)
Fear City (1984)
Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Ring (1998)
Coraline (2009)
Torchbearer (2005)
Silent Hill video games
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
The Hourglass Sanitarium (1973)
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)
Saw (2004)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Entry tags:
03/15/25
What a surprisingly good day. I randomly got enough energy to do some labour as the party was starting tonight but I didn't expect to spend much or any time there, but I was getting quite hungry after washing the walls down, and then everyone was like "HI" and I realized everything was just in my head.
My partner ended up getting hit by a Tesla on its bike today, but he's fine, his bike is surprisingly fine, but the Tesla was fucked up. And he was understandably upset.
Everyone was also glad to see him and that he was okay so I am relieved that everything was just in my head.
Started deep cleaning the bathroom tiles with a mould and mildew remover, planning on painting the tiles black and white patterned at some point.
There were 6 pets in my chicken smoothie collection that went up a rarety (usually they go down) so that was unusual.
My partner ended up getting hit by a Tesla on its bike today, but he's fine, his bike is surprisingly fine, but the Tesla was fucked up. And he was understandably upset.
Everyone was also glad to see him and that he was okay so I am relieved that everything was just in my head.
Started deep cleaning the bathroom tiles with a mould and mildew remover, planning on painting the tiles black and white patterned at some point.
There were 6 pets in my chicken smoothie collection that went up a rarety (usually they go down) so that was unusual.
Entry tags:
03/11/25
I read a manga (It was called the Broken Marika) that really struck home, it was about a suicide of a close friend and she had to steal the ashes from her parents in order to "save" her.
It's often difficult to find things that actually makes me feel cathartic about when one of my best friends committed suicide back in June 2023, but this manga made me feel the emotions I've been repressing for a long time.
Me and
cenobite watched They Cloned Tyrone (2023) and My god that was a good movie. Very beautiful, stylish and extremely well made. One of the best things I've seen from the 2020s, I believe.
Being a listener on 7cups is really using up a lot of time now, but that's okay I like helping people.
On a manga kick now and have been reading a lot of small short manga. I'm really picky with series so I'm a bit of a harsh rater.
It's often difficult to find things that actually makes me feel cathartic about when one of my best friends committed suicide back in June 2023, but this manga made me feel the emotions I've been repressing for a long time.
Me and
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Being a listener on 7cups is really using up a lot of time now, but that's okay I like helping people.
On a manga kick now and have been reading a lot of small short manga. I'm really picky with series so I'm a bit of a harsh rater.
Entry tags:
03/10/25
I didn't write yesterday. I'm feeling better, seems there was a lot of errors made with tallying up no-shows and labour hours, so it wasn't just me.
I did about 5 hours of labour yesterday and I got so tired I could barely move after.
We're still trying to fund a move to another apartment, though, because i WOULD like a pool, and the rent is too high here, but I am glad I don't have to panic as much.
I am extremely tired today.
I did about 5 hours of labour yesterday and I got so tired I could barely move after.
We're still trying to fund a move to another apartment, though, because i WOULD like a pool, and the rent is too high here, but I am glad I don't have to panic as much.
I am extremely tired today.
Entry tags:
03/08//25
I've been feeling really weird so I just became a listener on 7cups and it's actually helping.
Don't feel like writing more today.
Don't feel like writing more today.
Entry tags:
03/07/25
Gash had the day off, today and it was a lazy day didn't really do much except right at night I saw an email from the co-op mailing list that both me and it have been missing labour hours. Fucking HUH? So that stressed me out for several hours because I have in fact been doing my labour and gash has been, too.
There were actually times I wasn't doing labour last year, but I've been doing it as hard as I can, which from my disabilities is sometimes harder than it should be.
I'll definitely make sure I go to the meeting this Sunday evening and state my piece.
There were people on maintenance who weren't actually doing anything labour wise since they weren't assigned anything but weren't marked up as missing hours. Strange.
There were actually times I wasn't doing labour last year, but I've been doing it as hard as I can, which from my disabilities is sometimes harder than it should be.
I'll definitely make sure I go to the meeting this Sunday evening and state my piece.
There were people on maintenance who weren't actually doing anything labour wise since they weren't assigned anything but weren't marked up as missing hours. Strange.
Entry tags:
03/06/25
I've been playing Skyrim more again (level 39 character atm). I think Skyrim is fun because I can play for over 10 years and put hundreds of hours in it and there's STILL quests or things I've never done or played with before. Right now, I'm currently trying to level up the less combat oriented skills like speech and smithing because I would like to invest in shops and make dragon bone/scale armour.
I've been tearing through Blame! it's a really good manga. Reminds a lot of the video game Scorn but also Metropolis (1927).
My partner
cenobite has the day off today. Next week, it'll have 4 days off (and it's also paid next week!) so we plan to do some cleaning next week.
Last night we decided to get burgers when my partner got home from work (the place we got it from, we're always ordering the same order) but this time I got a mint oreo shake, and it was really good. Still have my chocolate chip cookie and giant strawberry lemonaid today. Sometimes after not getting take out in a while you just have to get burgers.
I've been tearing through Blame! it's a really good manga. Reminds a lot of the video game Scorn but also Metropolis (1927).
My partner
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Last night we decided to get burgers when my partner got home from work (the place we got it from, we're always ordering the same order) but this time I got a mint oreo shake, and it was really good. Still have my chocolate chip cookie and giant strawberry lemonaid today. Sometimes after not getting take out in a while you just have to get burgers.
feel free to steal
Ask meme for people in their 30s
1.What was the first piece of furniture you bought?
probably the pink couch that arrived broken. i prefer free or used furniture
2. What proportion of your meals do you cook?
ask me when i've been able to treat my ocd
3. Foaming hand soap or normal hand soap?
normal - it goes in my dispenser, foaming needs a special dispenser
4. Favorite chore?
cleaning the bathroom
5.Least favorite chore?
mopping - it just hurts
6. Most precious thing one of your pets has destroyed?
so... many things...
7. Any groceries you've been getting into lately?
idk i cant afford to byt groceries so we get food thru a special program that gives us free donated food from trader joes, but i really do love trader joes baked goods, like a lot..
8. What cleaning product do you swear by?
409 gets up just about any stain in a spray but pine sol or fabuloso when mopping
9. What's your emotional support craft?
i really do have to start doing crafts, i want to get into basketmaking.
10. Youtube, cable TV, or streaming?
i only subscribe to the criterion channel but i dont mind watching youtube, as well, lots of free movies on ther.
11. What's something you saved up for and then regretted buying?
my old kia soul that i dont even have anymore..
12. How many cups can you see from where you're sitting?
its dark, i can't see shit.
13. Which filter are you most likely to go "eh, it's probably fine" when you find out you need to change it?
im always worried about filters bc filters = clean air and i need that. sometimes, though i just can't afford the replacments
14. How often do you take baths?
i try to at least every other day
15. Do you go down each aisle when you grocery shop, or only the ones you know you need stuff from?
depends on if we have extra money (or money at all..) and if we have a strict list that day
16. Where do you go when you need to get out of the house but it's raining?
i really love taking a nice walk in the rain, though
17. What's a movie you saw recently that you liked?
i really liked ben-hur (1959)
18. Pro or anti tchotchkes?
100% pro
19. What's your go-to tape?
duct usually, it's multipurpose
20. What's in your freezer right now?
i have no idea, my ocd prevents me from going into my kitchen
21. Last concert you attended?
last august i believe we saw Priest
22. Favorite grocery store?
mmm H.E.B i really love their store branded ice creams
23. Paper bags, plastic bags, or reusable bags?
resuable
24. Do you get your government mandated 8 hours every night?
oh, you mean sleep? sometimes, despite the fact i don't work sometimes i only get a couple hours of sleep and that sucks but generally I sleep quite well.
25. Favorite old person activity?
birdwatching
26. Would you rather sit on the porch drinking sweet tea or sit by the lake drinking beers?
i hate beer and love sweet tea
27. Do you prefer Boardgame Night, Build-Your-Own-Pizza Night, or Movie Night with your friends?
even when i don't feel super social i still love to do a movie night every week with my friends, it's really engaging.
28. Be honest, do you like all of the pictures of their babies that your friends send you?
not a single one of my friends has babies
29. Go-to holiday card format?
what?
30. How many pairs of scissors do you own?
too many
31. Do you still own your first car?
i miss her everyday
32. How do you take your morning coffee/tea?
i like peppermint tea
33. What's something you collect?
physical media, pokemon cards
34. What's your commute like?
i'm unemployed i stay at home.
35. Aisle at the grocery store you never bother walking down?
i can't think of aisles i go out of my way to avoid.
36. Do you keep a daily journal or agenda?
yeah.
37. Do you still listen to the same music you listened to in high school?
my alters do, i don't thankfully.
38. What's the last filter you changed?
i don't remember
39. What little treat do you always get when you run errands?
ice cream
40. Grocery list or no grocery list?
grocery list groceries are expensive
41. What's the oldest thing you own?
my partner's ancient Korean paintings which are over 100 years old. Got it from his dad who got it from His dad.
42 What's an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?
Not that expensive but I want a slow cooker and a air fryer,
43. Favorite book you've read recently?
parable of the sower.
44.Honest feelings on Settlers of Catan?
i never played it.
45. What's something you wish you had more time for?
watching movies, there's so many of them.
46. What kind of stuff do you keep on the door of your refrigerator?
condiments or cans of drink
47 Lamps or overhead lighting?
both but lamps can really add both to the light but also aestheically
48 If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?
a house with a mud room, indoor/screened porch, laundry room and at least three bedrooms with one bedroom nearer to the kitchen would be all i need.
49. Do you bring a bag with you everywhere you go?
yeah
50. Pro or anti throw pillows?
throw pillows are so cute
How many blankets do you keep in your living room?
51. out living room is a mess right now so its hard so say
52. Did your relationship with your parents get better when you stopped living with them?
the relationship with my mom and i was fine but now its basically nonexistant. my dad's dead though.
53. What's worse, the DMV or the Social Security Office?
both are evil with their amount of tedius beaucracies and pointless barriers.
54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?
would love to for lunar new yaer but i never have the money
55. Favorite high-effort meal that you make?
im disabled
56. Favorite low-effort meal that you make?
meal kits my beloved...
57 Do you tend to bring an appetizer, entree, dessert, or drinks to a potluck?
desert
58. What kind of bag do you use for your bag full of bags?
its not a bag, right now i think theyre ust sort of thrown in a cabinet somewhere.
59. If you died and your ghost was stuck in the outfit you're wearing right now for the rest of time, would you be happy with it?
i dont want to be in my underwear forever
60. Do you have an opinion on your local weather reporter?
what even
61. Do you have a favorite brunch spot?
i dont eat out
62 Where are you on the minimalism-maximalism kinsey scale?
maximalism
63 Opinion on Bath and Body Works?
i dont really care for them theyre over priced
64 Last time you visited a farmer's market?
when we lived in california
65 Anything you're procrastinating on right now?
sleeping
66Do you get your taxes in as soon as possible, at the last minute, or late?
early
67 Do you keep any stuffed animals on your bed?
right now a fish and my partners creeper
68.Are your garbage bags scented or unscented?
scented is kind of dumb like theyre going in the dumpster
69 What are you looking forward to next week?
new free food, movie nights like each week
1.What was the first piece of furniture you bought?
probably the pink couch that arrived broken. i prefer free or used furniture
2. What proportion of your meals do you cook?
ask me when i've been able to treat my ocd
3. Foaming hand soap or normal hand soap?
normal - it goes in my dispenser, foaming needs a special dispenser
4. Favorite chore?
cleaning the bathroom
5.Least favorite chore?
mopping - it just hurts
6. Most precious thing one of your pets has destroyed?
so... many things...
7. Any groceries you've been getting into lately?
idk i cant afford to byt groceries so we get food thru a special program that gives us free donated food from trader joes, but i really do love trader joes baked goods, like a lot..
8. What cleaning product do you swear by?
409 gets up just about any stain in a spray but pine sol or fabuloso when mopping
9. What's your emotional support craft?
i really do have to start doing crafts, i want to get into basketmaking.
10. Youtube, cable TV, or streaming?
i only subscribe to the criterion channel but i dont mind watching youtube, as well, lots of free movies on ther.
11. What's something you saved up for and then regretted buying?
my old kia soul that i dont even have anymore..
12. How many cups can you see from where you're sitting?
its dark, i can't see shit.
13. Which filter are you most likely to go "eh, it's probably fine" when you find out you need to change it?
im always worried about filters bc filters = clean air and i need that. sometimes, though i just can't afford the replacments
14. How often do you take baths?
i try to at least every other day
15. Do you go down each aisle when you grocery shop, or only the ones you know you need stuff from?
depends on if we have extra money (or money at all..) and if we have a strict list that day
16. Where do you go when you need to get out of the house but it's raining?
i really love taking a nice walk in the rain, though
17. What's a movie you saw recently that you liked?
i really liked ben-hur (1959)
18. Pro or anti tchotchkes?
100% pro
19. What's your go-to tape?
duct usually, it's multipurpose
20. What's in your freezer right now?
i have no idea, my ocd prevents me from going into my kitchen
21. Last concert you attended?
last august i believe we saw Priest
22. Favorite grocery store?
mmm H.E.B i really love their store branded ice creams
23. Paper bags, plastic bags, or reusable bags?
resuable
24. Do you get your government mandated 8 hours every night?
oh, you mean sleep? sometimes, despite the fact i don't work sometimes i only get a couple hours of sleep and that sucks but generally I sleep quite well.
25. Favorite old person activity?
birdwatching
26. Would you rather sit on the porch drinking sweet tea or sit by the lake drinking beers?
i hate beer and love sweet tea
27. Do you prefer Boardgame Night, Build-Your-Own-Pizza Night, or Movie Night with your friends?
even when i don't feel super social i still love to do a movie night every week with my friends, it's really engaging.
28. Be honest, do you like all of the pictures of their babies that your friends send you?
not a single one of my friends has babies
29. Go-to holiday card format?
what?
30. How many pairs of scissors do you own?
too many
31. Do you still own your first car?
i miss her everyday
32. How do you take your morning coffee/tea?
i like peppermint tea
33. What's something you collect?
physical media, pokemon cards
34. What's your commute like?
i'm unemployed i stay at home.
35. Aisle at the grocery store you never bother walking down?
i can't think of aisles i go out of my way to avoid.
36. Do you keep a daily journal or agenda?
yeah.
37. Do you still listen to the same music you listened to in high school?
my alters do, i don't thankfully.
38. What's the last filter you changed?
i don't remember
39. What little treat do you always get when you run errands?
ice cream
40. Grocery list or no grocery list?
grocery list groceries are expensive
41. What's the oldest thing you own?
my partner's ancient Korean paintings which are over 100 years old. Got it from his dad who got it from His dad.
42 What's an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?
Not that expensive but I want a slow cooker and a air fryer,
43. Favorite book you've read recently?
parable of the sower.
44.Honest feelings on Settlers of Catan?
i never played it.
45. What's something you wish you had more time for?
watching movies, there's so many of them.
46. What kind of stuff do you keep on the door of your refrigerator?
condiments or cans of drink
47 Lamps or overhead lighting?
both but lamps can really add both to the light but also aestheically
48 If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?
a house with a mud room, indoor/screened porch, laundry room and at least three bedrooms with one bedroom nearer to the kitchen would be all i need.
49. Do you bring a bag with you everywhere you go?
yeah
50. Pro or anti throw pillows?
throw pillows are so cute
How many blankets do you keep in your living room?
51. out living room is a mess right now so its hard so say
52. Did your relationship with your parents get better when you stopped living with them?
the relationship with my mom and i was fine but now its basically nonexistant. my dad's dead though.
53. What's worse, the DMV or the Social Security Office?
both are evil with their amount of tedius beaucracies and pointless barriers.
54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?
would love to for lunar new yaer but i never have the money
55. Favorite high-effort meal that you make?
im disabled
56. Favorite low-effort meal that you make?
meal kits my beloved...
57 Do you tend to bring an appetizer, entree, dessert, or drinks to a potluck?
desert
58. What kind of bag do you use for your bag full of bags?
its not a bag, right now i think theyre ust sort of thrown in a cabinet somewhere.
59. If you died and your ghost was stuck in the outfit you're wearing right now for the rest of time, would you be happy with it?
i dont want to be in my underwear forever
60. Do you have an opinion on your local weather reporter?
what even
61. Do you have a favorite brunch spot?
i dont eat out
62 Where are you on the minimalism-maximalism kinsey scale?
maximalism
63 Opinion on Bath and Body Works?
i dont really care for them theyre over priced
64 Last time you visited a farmer's market?
when we lived in california
65 Anything you're procrastinating on right now?
sleeping
66Do you get your taxes in as soon as possible, at the last minute, or late?
early
67 Do you keep any stuffed animals on your bed?
right now a fish and my partners creeper
68.Are your garbage bags scented or unscented?
scented is kind of dumb like theyre going in the dumpster
69 What are you looking forward to next week?
new free food, movie nights like each week
Entry tags:
03/05/25
I took a few month hiatus from reading manga, and I guess I'm back. Read both volumes of the Passion of Gengoroh Tegame that I found at my local library was a great introduction back in, and I've got to say I'm a definitely a fan now (haven't read too much of his stuff previously except one volume of my brother's husband).
I am now currently reading Blame! and I really love this gritty world. It's heavily detailed, really neat stylization and this series is short, and the chapters don't usually contain much dialogue, so I'm sure I will devour it all very soon.
Well the earlier red flag notice has been over and I'm okay but there was definitely a fire nearby. The smoke was in the air and it was hard to breathe for a while, and everything feels gunky, but it was contained relatively quickly of which I am grateful for.
I've been working on worldbuilding a fantasy world entirely by scratch and it's still in a stage that's still too early to talk about, but anticipate that soon!
I am now currently reading Blame! and I really love this gritty world. It's heavily detailed, really neat stylization and this series is short, and the chapters don't usually contain much dialogue, so I'm sure I will devour it all very soon.
Well the earlier red flag notice has been over and I'm okay but there was definitely a fire nearby. The smoke was in the air and it was hard to breathe for a while, and everything feels gunky, but it was contained relatively quickly of which I am grateful for.
I've been working on worldbuilding a fantasy world entirely by scratch and it's still in a stage that's still too early to talk about, but anticipate that soon!
Entry tags:
03/04/25
I'm still quite nervous. I haven't had a period since I went off T. I pulled myself off it in November and I'm really getting nervous. Of course the time that I want to have a period, it never comes.
We've had plans of starting a family, especially because I'm not going to get any younger (i'm already 30 this month) but for some reason, I still haven't had a period....
I do hope it comes back I can't even find a place in my state that has LGBT preconception visits (not that I even like to visit the doctor).
On another note, I barely got much sleep today (I went to sleep at 3am) and I woke up at like 6am because the wind was blowing and my throat started hurting from the pollen. AND there's that red flag warning in my area right now, so I'm kind of stressed.
We've had plans of starting a family, especially because I'm not going to get any younger (i'm already 30 this month) but for some reason, I still haven't had a period....
I do hope it comes back I can't even find a place in my state that has LGBT preconception visits (not that I even like to visit the doctor).
On another note, I barely got much sleep today (I went to sleep at 3am) and I woke up at like 6am because the wind was blowing and my throat started hurting from the pollen. AND there's that red flag warning in my area right now, so I'm kind of stressed.
Entry tags:
Extreme fire warning and wind...
It was cold very much in the area where I live when it's usually quite hot. However, because the humidity dropped now tomorrow (it is currently 1:30 am so today) is extremely high risk for fire! I am trying not to think about how scared I am because I have way I could evacuate; I can't drive nor do I own a car! Ack, I hate climate change.
Entry tags:
03/03/25
I really like living in a co-op. The one I live in, everyone has their own apartment unit so there is a semblance of independence, but still have that community close at hand.
I really think that community is more important than voting. You can't vote out fascism but you can find a community and help each other survive.
I really think that community is more important than voting. You can't vote out fascism but you can find a community and help each other survive.